Thursday, January 12, 2012

Shared Joy Is A Double Joy

 Allen and I have been together 10 years! Yes that's right 10 years! We have never broken up, although it's come very close, we never played those type of "games".  From the moment I met him as a Junior in High School I knew he was 'The One', like most do at that age. None the less he turned out to actually be the one.

Granted our realtionship isn't picture perfect, but we are perfect for each other. we most definitely compliment one another. 

Some of the things that I have found to make us a success story are these simple rules I live by and swear by.

1. Being Secure With Ourselves: Allen and I are NOT super models by any means- this can be used as a disclaimer! LOL. But dammit we are beautiful people! I do not let other women intimidate, and Allen knows no other man, can or will ever have me like he does. 

2. Expressing Our feelings, and Our Needs: Even though we have been together for a long time we are not 100% in sync, I am not physic and neither is Allen. So without communication we are not fully functionable. 

3. Not Expecting The Moon: From time to time I find myself comparing Allen to my other girlfriends husbands, wishing he could cook like them, or was more romantic like them.... Then I sit back and take in the facts- Allen might not do some of the things these husbands do, but he TRYS! And some of the things that other spouses accept from their husbands I would never, and I'm sure that some of my girlfriends wish their husbands had some of the traits Allen has. Regardless We don't put too much expectation on each other, and with that said we don't lower our standards to make the other one feel more comfortable in this realtionship, we do encourage the best for one another.

4. Picking Our Battles Wisely: Some things simply aren't worth arguing about. Case and point- Allen will complain about me leaving the juice out from time to time, but then he makes complete messes in the kitchen, I don't say anything 99.9% of the time because it starts this domino affect of accusing, and denying, and getting all worked up over absolutely nothing. Rather I messed up, and need to clean up, or Allen sits the juice on top of the refrigerator where I can't reach it (which he does often!! lol), it's not always worth pointing it out, and regardless stuff needs to be cleaned, tidied up, and put away.... Save for energy for something else... like chasing with your crawler, and playing with your toddler. 

5. Making Every Effort To Keep Our Love Life Alive & Having A Healthy Sex Life: We find the time OFTEN to make breakaways from demands of work, household chores and our roles as mommy and daddy to fall in love all over again. Every date night, every late night recap, every moment I get to cuddle or lay on his chest I appreciate and look forward to. He loves when I get all dolled up, and when he's able to hold me, without me having a baby attached to me. We always find the energy- from where I don't know, to have as much sex as possible. It saddens me, and makes Allen appreciate me just that much more when we learn from friends how their flame has went out, how they might get to connect on that passionate level once, maybe twice a month. Like my mother told me- "You need to date your husband, the same way you dated him before you were his wife"... The things you did before- getting dressed up, keeping yourself maintained, being the girl he fell in love with are all things you need to continue to do once you've said I do. 

"Find someone worth your tears, worth your laughter, worth your heart and that loves you as much as you love them."

Pregnant with AJ @ Our Baby Shower
Pregnant with Liam @ a Friends wedding

Being silly together, because at the end of it all he is the 
ONE person I can always be myself with

Enjoying a little Celtics game

One of our many nights out BEFORE Children

This was the night I found out I was pregnant

Post children bonding

Pregnant @ my Best Friends wedding

Most recently out for a datenight


1 comment:

  1. By the end of this blog I was all teary eyed! This was beautifully written! God bless you and your beautiful family. May your family share MANY MANY more years of love that will always be the light to your paths.

    This was very inspirational Jazmine :o) I have plenty of friends already MARRIED and others like myself that have formed a family without tying the knot yet. In both cases I see how either the spark is NOT there at all anymore (especially after having kids for some reason) or the spark is cooling down. I look at my boyfriend every night and day and we are not perfect neither but I thank God I was blessed in many ways. Anyhow, Thank you for sharing your blog :o)